“Where will thi…

“Where will this post land? on the Conversation Farm Blog or on the Making Book Blog?” Here we go.

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THE HEART CODE NOVEL WEBSITE

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Website for THE HEART CODE NOVEL

Our official website is up and running – with fun facts, background, links and chapter samples for THE HEART CODE NOVEL.

Take a look around and let me know what you think – thanks!

Dem Dez and Does — notes from my editor.

IF anybody is still reading this – I’ve been so remiss from keeping up, even though I think about it often – here’s a bit of good info from my editor.  It is in response to my note to him about a wee too many pronouns in his edit. she-he-it = dem- dez-does.

His response, as always, is full of light and clarity.  Hope you enjoy —

Oh, and by the by — LOST my glasses while surf fishing (boo hoo), now considering options for the replacement — what do you think of these vintage ones? 

(I currently use them a readers when wearing my contacts) Are they too much for daily wear?

And now a lesson from my editor . . .

Laura, lass

Thanks for the kind words on my edits. My job is to be the person who buys your book and reads it. That person will be so immersed in the story (because it’s a good one) that
she/he will detect discrepancies or false notes. I’ve had a lot of practice.

Which leads us to those pronouns …

It’s about clarity; who  did what. For instance, in this sentence:”Myrtle didn’t understand why Estelle became distant and James remained absent from all community events and became increasingly depressed at the sudden crash of her dream for a June wedding.”  it is James who  is becoming increasingly depressed (read only the bold part).

So it needs to be: “Myrtle didn’t understand why Estelle became distant and James remained absent from all community events, and she became increasingly depressed at the sudden crash of her dream for a June wedding.”

See? (I know you do.) ((and of course I did))

Now, you could just stick in a comma, so it reads: “Myrtle didn’t understand
why Estelle became distant and James remained absent from all community
events, and became increasingly depressed …”
but when you insert the comma, what comes after it is a clause, not a phrase, and clauses need subjects (thus the “she”). Moreover, there are so many words between “Myrtle” and “became
increasingly depressed (including two other characters),” the reader needs to be
reminded who “doesn’t understand.” So the edited version is not only grammatically correct, it’s simply clearer.

In other instances, the difference is more subtle, but it’s still important. As in this
sentence: “James left Gladdenbury in a huff after the confrontation with his father and returned only for an obligatory appearance at their traditional Christmas Day open house,
where he attended select friends and clients but steered clear of his parents and the Howes, and subsequently turned down every invitation his mother extended thereafter.”
When you read this section: … Christmas Day open house, where he attended select friends and clients but steered clear of his parents and the Howes, and subsequently turned down every invitation …

it reads as if the turning down of invitations happens at the Christmas Day open house, when it  actually happens in the time after the party (true, you put “thereafter” at the end of the sentence, but then you’re requiring the reader to go back and unthink what he/she already thinks. ((good point!  As a reader, I hate that))

So:  “… Christmas Day open house, where he attended select friends and clients but steered clear of his  parents and the Howes, and he subsequently turned down every
invitation …”  creates a new  timeframe.

In this sentence, I’m  not actually sure I was right to insert the pronoun (imagine
that!):  “Celeste dug in her heels in spite of knowing she’d made a selfish mistake, ignoring Gamma’s urging to apologize, and pretended not to care what Ede said or did.:

But the syntax is confusing; it jumps from past tense (dug in her heels) to present tense (knowing, ignoring) back to past (pretended). How it should read, I believe, is:

“Celeste dug in her heels in spite of knowing she’d made a selfish mistake. She ignored Gamma’s urging to apologize and pretended not to care what Ede said or did.”

But that’s how I would write it, not how you would, so I just tried to do a patch-up
job with the insertion of the pronoun (she): “Celeste dug in her heels in spite of knowing
she’d made a selfish mistake, ignoring Gamma’s urging to apologize, and she
pretended not to care what Ede said or did.”

It just sounds more clear to me that way. ((I think I like the way he re-wrote the sentence, breaking it in two….must relfect more))

Granted, not all readers (and possibly only a few — including the NYT reviewer,
perhaps?) will have any clue about these differences, but why not always make
the first reading as clear as possible? I know how carefully you have  crafted the sound and feel of the writing (which is part of what makes you an artist), but you must remember that because you are the writer, you always know where the sentences are going; the reader is always going along blindly and must be lead very carefully, lest he/she stumble and have to
backtrack for clarity.

That said, not all of my pronoun insertions are absolutely necessary; some sentences are clear enough without them. But as I hinted above, professional readers will pick up on these
things, and they just might get turned off by the little things that do not bother a casual reader.

Anyway, I never forget it is your book, and it should sound the way you want it to sound, so unless I think it creates a real problem, I’ll always bow to your discretion.

Cheerio, and let’s get together soon.

xox

G.

((ISN’T HE GREAT?!))

Picked A Launch Date

For no reason other than I like the look and sound of it, I’ve picked the book launch date

11-11-11.

And if for some reason I miss that one – I will at least bring it all in sometime in 11-11

A lot has progressed in the past couple month.

BOOK COVER is just getting its finishing touches.  I’ll be posting soon about that – working with the artist and pictures showing the progression. Very excited to share that. Little peek of a corner of the design is the featured picture of this blog.

EDITOR continues to push my boundaries to great results.  He had me add a flight scene of a plane ride from Prague to Brussels in 1930.  Also the scene at the top of the stairs at the Cotillion, before the girls are presented.  These were fun and invigorating writing challenges.  I continue to thank my luck stars he is on my team.

INTERIOR DESIGN has also begun.  That designer transformed my first chapter into the Goudy text and 6×9 layout and I just keep looking and looking at it.  I love how the type feels on my eyes. Hope my readers do too!

ENDING REWRITE: After many rounds of readers, I was finally convinced to rewrite the ending and that process is also going well. Very happy with the direction it is taking.  Feels good to be in the writing mix, rather than only the production mix – but all the balls in the air is a bit of a juggle. Looking forward to next winter when I’ll (hopefully) only be writing, again.

TEAM: As Amanda Hocking expressed: being your own publisher is a lot of work.  My team is expanding with a proof reader  who will review the final layout from the interior designer.

I have a ton of other details to generate, from ISBN to BIO to AUTHOR PICTURE to that interior page with all the publishing gobbly-de-gook (what goes on that page? must research).

So I best get back to it!  Thanks for checking in and hope your summer is going swimmingly.

RUNNING YOUR OWN RACE

Just watched the movie: Secretariat (the horse) – a Disney debacle with Diane Lane.

Could go on about what they missed in the narrative – so many details about the horse – as was captured so beautifully and movingly in the movie Seabiscuit. And what a sorry job many good actors did – probably because of a poor script.

But instead of all that, I want to share my favorite line.

“Run Your Own Race.”

It was advice the father gave to the daughter about her own life as well as the horses they raised.

Secretariat was a horse that loved to run.  Only in the Belmont Race (the last of the triple crown) did his trainer take the risk of training him hard before the race – unsure if it would fire him up or burn him out.  It did the former, and Secretariat won that race, the longest of the three, by 30 lengths and at a speed no horse has since matched.  He ran his own race. Finally

It was curious to me that the trainer had never tested that theory out before the Belmont Race.

My husband said, most trainers train horses according to their own theory, not according to what the horse calls for.

A lot like our own lives, don’t you think?  We get trained to master what our teachers think is important.  And only to the limit to how they see us. If they don’t think we are a champion, maybe we miss it in ourselves.

A good part of the Secretariat story (but not really well done by Diane Lane) was the strength of the owner – who had to leave her family in Colorado and take some big risks and make some unconventional proposals – to get Secretariat to the racetrack. There is a scene she has with the horse the night before the Belmont when she realizes, she’d already won – by bringing him to this point.  Now it was all up to him.  To Run his own Race.  And he ran the hell out of it.

So I am reminded to keep going, run my own race, and run it as I want, regardless of what previous trainers may or may not have said/done.  There’s only one Secretariat and there’s only one me and we each have to run our own race.

You too, my friend. xo Laura

TITLES and the “IT” FACTOR

Howdy – it’s been almost a month since my last post.

I’ve been working with my editor, and book cover designer and book interior designer, getting the manuscript ready.  The goal is to have a print version available for purchase via Amazon by later Fall and to then transfer it to Ebook formats. It is a good, but time-consuming, journey.

I’ve also been prepping and posting the last chapters of the book to my other site – where the book has been rolling out, chapter by chapter since last fall. www.theheartcode.com

As the chapters build to a conclusion, I’ve decided not to post the last two chapters.  The reason is twofold.

One: For copyright reasons, I don’t want them available on the web and Two: I’m changing the ending.  My friend, Keith David, really made a strong case for it, echoing other readers comments, and when my sister-in-law, Jeannie, came up with an ending I could embrace, and still fit the continuum of the series, I agreed.  So I’m working on that, also.  It’s a lot of balls in the air on top of day-to-day living stuff.

Below is a modification of the post I put on the novel site, as it has caused me to reconsider the chapter title.

Who else has struggled with TITLES? (haha)

Now onto my commentary….

——– – – – – – – – ———-

Chapter 28 -CONQUESTS – features a newly revived Celeste, demonstrating her ability to make her own decisions and stick to them.  She changes the wedding venue, recognizes when to fight and when to let go and speaks her mind to James, actually naming the boogie man in the room.  Good steps for her. Not totally embracing her heart code but in the right direction.

The chapter includes mention of the 1920’s Author, Elinor Glyn, whose novel and subsequent movie originally defined the “IT” factor, a term still used today.  In previous chapters, I’d referenced the IT factor and the actress Clara Bow – silent movie heroine – and the 1927 movie “IT” .  But I had not connected it to the author.  With a little more research, I realized that a few things have changed from Elinor’s original meaning of the phrase IT and how we use it today.

Elinor coined “IT” was a euphemism for Sex Appeal. She made a lot of money writing racy novels that are tame by today’s standards, but nevertheless. She specifically defined IT as the “strange magnetism that attracts both sexes.”

The Movie version interpreted “IT” as: “Self Confidence and Indifference to whether you are pleasing or not.” Clara Bow conveyed “IT” well.  While I don’t see her sex appeal, she certainly carried off the “Self Confidence and Indifference” when she sallied through the Ritz Hotel Dining room in an obviously homemade dress.

(you can rent the movie IT on Netflix to see for yourself)

That led me to question our modern definition of IT, which seems to be opposite of “Self Confidence and Indifference to whether you are pleasing or not.”

From Paris to the Kardashian to GaGa to the entire Bravo Housewives series and almost every one in the entertainment biz, the goal seems to do whatever IT is that will get them ATTENTION, the more outlandish, the better.

Today,  “IT” has to do with insisting on attention – becoming whatever to command “IT”.  I don’t see those who are ascribed to having the IT FACTOR today as being self-confident or indifferent to opinion. I see them as a SLAVE to popular opinion, with a willingness to do whatever it takes for their 15 minutes of fame.

Rather than Sex Appeal or a surety of ones self, FAME seems to be the IT FACTOR in the 21st century.  Fame for Fame’s sake.

That’s a sad state of affairs and a sad commentary on our society.

Harking back to the Clara Bow Movie version of IT,  I think IT is an authentic person who is true to their own drummer. That’s what I write about in the novel: Bohemian HEART CODE.  Following your heart is about being true to what’s true for you.  Show me that kind of  person, and I’ll gladly cook up a meal fit for a king and serve it on my best platters.

Being authentically true is the only “IT FACTOR” I will ever acknowledged as valid.

And my character, CELESTE, has finally begun to demonstrate an understanding of her own IT.  Not fully, yet.  But a nice step forward.  She’s been like the baby blue jays I’ve been photographing in my garden, who had no sense of the world as they grew in the nest.  But shortly, as they approached the need to take to their own wing, they found their own IT and flew true.

My friend Billy, an artist, is always pointing out things that are “Bohemian Hippy Chic.” a cache for cool. But what I really think he is saying is: Putting things together so they reflect you, as you really are.  In that light, I’m thinking about changing the name of the book from Bohemian Heart Code to BOHEMIAN IT.

What do you think?

Thanks for checking in. xo Laura

CAVEAT EMPTOR

I’ve been knitting like a maniac the last few days.

 I knit when I’m trying to make sense of something and my encounter with a freelance editor last week qualifies – big time.  While I’m a big believer in learning, and keep myself open to it, sometimes an experience drops in to remind yourself that your heart is your best counsel.

Here’s the jist: Met her via Facebook. Shared my query and first chapter. She liked my chapter and thought I had a unique idea and knew what I was doing even though my chapter was a bit “squishy”.

Squishy?  Wanting to know more, I hired her for an hour’s edit, to ID the squishyness – to understand her perspective.

What’s Latin for Buyer Beware? Caveat Emptor?  It applies here.  

Her “edit” went well beyond anything I expected and blew my mind for  few days – but ultimately, I was reminded that just because someone has an opinion –  doesnt’ make them the expert for you.

While she switched out a few words and added a few bits of action, what I objected to most were the following assertions:   

• She asserted I had a POV problem, “(Reporting from inside the head of both characters)” seemingly ignorant of third person unlimited omniscience, and asserting I should investigate “DEEP POV” because I wouldn’t want to give an “editor ANY reason to think you are squishy on basic writing rules.”  -(!!)-  Later on she directed me to a website that asserted there are three POV’s: first, second and third.  If anyone reading this thinks there is a second person POV, please contact me.  There is not. Never was.  Never will be.  As soon as the word YOU is written or spoken, there is an I behind it. 
• The above point galled me.  POINT OF VIEW is a very specific term about the narrator, not the characters.  She also sent me a link for “DEEP POV” and I couldn’t believe what I was reading! I guess some people think they can just make it up. Professor Wynne would shudder. 
• She added some background on my characters that was incorrect, including a really cheesy action of my little girl putting her finger under her chin and looking up as she wondered.   YEEESSH! 
•  And the coup was her deletion of an entire scene and rewriting the last pages, changing my voice and characters.  My husband nicely summed it up: “Oh, I see what she did, she changed it into “Little House on the Prarie.”  

ORIGINAL VERSION

“EDITORS” REVISION

Sitting together, they silently admired the hat and each other as the sky’s pink faded to soft gray. Looking up, Gamma tapped Celeste’s legs.“Come now, put on shoes. Time to wear your hat home proud.” ~ Vigilantly watching from her kitchen window as the sun set, Myrtle let out a big sigh when she saw Gamma and Celeste finally appear on the crest of the hill. Squinting in the waning light, she scrutinized their ambling figures and asked aloud: “What in heaven’s name is on her head?” Martin rose from the kitchen table and peered beyond his wife, seeing his mother and daughter heading toward the house. He knew instantly. “A bark hat. Made one as a boy.” Myrtle scoffed. “Where could you find bark on the docks of New York?” Pulling his ear, Martin shook his head. “Every now and again Mother would take me to the country. When I was around Celeste’s age, we found a creek and made a bark hat together. Took all day.” Martin reached for a glass off the window sill and drew water from the kitchen tap. “She showed me how to curl the bark as we stood in the creek.” He gently inhaled, sucking air through his teeth, still able to smell the mix of grass, mud and bark from that day. “I loved that hat, but it got crushed on the trolley ride home. Never made another.” Keeping time with the jaunty step of his daughter as she crossed the grass toward the house, he recited: “Truth, Courage, Openness, Curiosity, Creativity, Love.” Sighing deeply, he returned to the kitchen table and his opened newspaper. ~ “So did they live there forever?”  Celeste swung her grandmother’s arm. “Who” “Our ancestors, the Bohemians.” “For long, long time there, until one day some strangers – warriors – attack them.” “Meanies!” Celeste cried, thinking of the boy in kindergarten who smushed her painting. “Big meanies! Many of our ancestors run far away, to other countries. But some stay, hiding in mountain until warriors leave and is safe again. That is our family story, which I tell another day.” Holding on to her hat, Celeste carefully climbed the porch steps and ran into the kitchen, beaming. “Mama, Papa, look what we made today! A birch bark hat!” Pushing aside his paper, Martin held out his arms, lifting his daughter to his lap. “Ah, you lucky girl. A Bohemian birch bark hat!” Closely examining her work, he named each treasure she’d used. “What a fine, fine job you’ve done, my dearest Celeste. Quite a talent you’ve got,” and he kissed her cheek with a loud smack. Giggling, Celeste slid off his lap and crossed to her mother at the stove. “And Gamma said she’ll tell me all her story pillows and take me to Bohemia, when I’m older.” Smiling, Myrtle cooed in return. “Very nice, I’m sure, but you’d best go wash for supper. Martin, would you help her, please?”

Sitting together, they silently admired the hat and each other as the sky’s pink faded to soft gray. Gamma tapped Celeste’s legs.“Come now, put on shoes. Time to wear your hat home proud.” ~ As they crested the hill, Gamma caught sight of Myrtle, vigilantly keeping watch from her kitchen window. She sighed. “So did they live there forever?” Celeste asked, swinging her grandmother’s arm. “Who?” “The Boy Kelps.” “For long, long time there, until one day some strangers attack them.” “And what did they do?” “Many of them run far away, to other countries.” “I would run away, too,” Celeste said, and she dropped Gamma’s hand and began running toward the house. Gamma watched as Celeste flew up the porch steps, carefully holding on to her hat, and then ran through the door into the kitchen, calling out, “Mama, Papa, look what we made today! A birch bark hat!” Gamma slowed her pace, considering what might happen next . As she climbed the steps, she heard Myrtle say, “What on earth is that?”                “A birch bark hat, Mama! It means things like, truth, and courage and—” Gamma stepped through the door in time to see Martin, sitting at his usual newspaper-reading spot at the kitchen table, hold out his arms then lift his daughter to his lap. “And openness and curiosity and—” he said, trailing off and cocking his head as if recalling a long-buried memory. “And creativity and love,” he finished, with a touch of triumph. “You lucky girl. A Bohemian birch bark hat!” Closely examining it, he named each treasure she’d used. “What a fine, fine job you’ve done, my dearest Celeste. Quite a talent you’ve got,” he said, and kissed her cheek with a loud smack. “Do you have one too, Papa?” “Not anymore. But I made one as a boy.” Myrtle glanced at Gamma before removing the hat from Celeste’s head. “How lovely. It’s time to get cleaned up for dinner. Off you go.” “You too, Papa. You need cleaned-up,” Celeste said, pointing at his newspaper-print stained fingers. ¤

•   In several follow-up emails she made further suggestions, including giving my girl three different nicknames – which had something to do with her own mother’s experience. 
• She also dissed my current editor as a “business journalist” who doesn’t understand literary form or current marketplace styles.(without knowing anything about him and his background)
• She also mentioned that she knew a publisher who might be interested but it would have to be edited in the same way she edited my first chapter, as she would be the editor.

That’s when my lightbulb went off. 

Just because a house wants to publish you doesn’t mean they believe what you believe. 

 Just because an editor takes you on, doesn’t mean he/she will guide you to the manuscript you wanted to present. 

Everyone has an opinion.  Everyone has an agenda.  It’s a fine line between learning and being bowled over. 

One of my friends, who had a brilliant singing career, explained it like this: “Oh, you came across a PLUSER.  They were all over the music industry.  All they can do is  add-on something to someone elses work – plus this and plus that – and if you listen to them, your work becomes unrecognizable.” Then she added: “It takes about 4 albums before you get that hit – the one that really reflects you and that’s when the plusers don’t stand a chance of getting in your way.”

ALL of this led me to knitting like a fiend until I finally came back to the realization that just because someone calls themself an editor, doesn’t make them the editor for you. 

And just because someone wants to publish your book, doesn’t mean they are going to publish YOUR book. 

And just because someone has a website and makes pronouncements about POV, doesn’t make them correct.  (Do they not teach DRAMATIC ANALYSIS anymore?)

Buyer Beware!   

This lesson only cost me twenty bucks but in terms of getting very clear on who I am and how I write and where I want to be = priceless.  

What experiences have you had in this arena? 

   xo, Laura

WHAT RAINBOW IS YOUR COLOR?

PROTAGONIST – VONNEGUT – FAIRY TALES And NOVELS

AS I prepare my novel for publication, the question of novel “TYPE” comes up again and again.  Where do I fit in, in the multiplicity of niches (upon which there is no agreement).  What follows is part one of this conversation.

Many years ago, my husband and I had the pleasure of witnessing Kurt Vonnegut explain the structure of drama. Though an old man by then (and since deceased), he was as lively as a 20 year-old as he sketched a grid on a white board with ECSTASY at the top of the vertical line, MISERY at the vertical bottom and TIME running along the horizontal line.

Halfway between Misery and Ecstasy, he drew another horizontal line, running the width of the grid. 

He then illustrated the dramatic structure of a Cinderella story and a Disaster story, tracing each story’s arc up and down, between misery and ecstasy along the continuum of time. Finally he drew his version of real life’s arc: a line that squiggled around the middle horizontal line – never nearing ecstasy or misery. He explained that while most of us live a non-dramatic life, we are drawn to the fairy tale or disaster drama with sweeping highs and lows, which is why so many books and movies follow that formula. Derek Siver has Vonnegut’s lecture nicely illustrated on his site.  

I mention this because my husband recently pointed out I have not written a typical novel with a single protagonist facing an agony, experiencing dramatic ups and downs and leading to a happy conclusion. He said: “You’ve outlined a new paradigm of a novel with many protagonists and no singular dramatic issue” (such as a wicked stepmother or an earthquake). 

I agree with some of his statement. I agree that my novel has several protagonists, depending on your point of view. Younger readers often identify with young Celeste while older ones gravitate to Gamma. Some spark to Jack, a seasoned man, re-awakened by Gamma’s message. Other’s to Celeste’s best friend,Ede, with her clarity of heart and get-go. Some even identify with the brothers: Ron and James, representing reverse images of a young man making his way in life. Last but not least, there are the mothers: Estelle and Myrtle, who work with what they have, to do what they think is right. A case could be made that not one of them is “the” protagonist because the story hinges on the interaction among the whole group. Each one participates and contributes (both pro and con) to the ensuing outcome.

Consider the block buster book THE HORSE WHISPERER. Who was the protagonist in that novel? The Girl? The Mother? The Horse? The Whisperer?  I suggest it is an ensemble story that requires all participants, on equal footing. I consider THE HEART CODE an ensemble of protagonists – each championing their own cause while interacting and impacting each other. Isn’t that very much the way our own lives work as well?

Don’t we all have an ensemble of people who impact what happens to us? These include family, friends, teachers, the lady neighbor who was extra nice (or mean), the boy or girl friends who contributed to your understanding of love (or not), the professional mentor or someone you talked to on the train/plane/bus who really rocked your world but you never saw again. Some run with us through life and some pop in for a brief stay. But no matter the circumstance, the people of our ensemble help, hinder or challenge our progression toward whatever we seek. In real life, there is not one Fairy Godmother or Evil Witch – there can be many, at different times. If we actually charted out our lives as we do a story arc, I think we could identify those influences that led to significant events or random left hand turns.

Before I wrote the final version of THE HEART CODE, I actually graphed out the story arc of each character. I was inspired by Author/Screenwriting teacher Robert McKee in his book STORY.  That’s where I realized how others become the catalyst for our own changes or ‘stuckedness’. Being unaware of these connections in our own lives can be a liability, I think. Thus, my interest in creating a novel that illuminates those realities: the who, what, when where, how and why that makes a difference in a character’s pursuit of whatever he/she is seeking.

I also agree with my husband’s statement that my book has “no singular dramatic issue” (such as a wicked stepmother or an earthquake).  

He’s correct. I did not follow the strict formula because I find it boring. Boring to read and boring to write. I like exploring the subtleness of life and living. Who among us lives in a constant fairy tale or disaster movie? No one I know, yet our lives are not empty of drama. Drama is simply the tension between where you are and where you want to be – and it is where most of us live, day-to-day, be it in the form of finding one’s calling or building a family or tackling a (new) career or selecting a college or planning a garden or coalescing a  community. While my novel’s plot follows the “who will she marry” storyline, the real “story” is how a person comes to understand and trust their own internal voice. That’s what I find most fascinating and seek it out in many different avenues. Like Vonnegut’s diagram of real life, my novel reflects the “stuff in the middle,” with much smaller dramatic arcs as each protagonist grapples on the hows of hearing their heart code.

Finally, I disagree with my husband’s comment about it being a new paradigm.

 My favorite authors also write about issues and ideas with multiple protagonists and without a single, defining plotline – which is why they are my favorite authors. INCLUDING:

Tracy Chavelier’s REMARKABLE CREATURES about two 18^th century women who were fossil hunters.

Susan Vreeland’s PASSION OF ARTEMISIA, about a woman painter in the 14^th century

Kathryn Stockett’s THE HELP about the secret life of black maids in the 60’s.

Edith Pargeter’s HEAVEN TREE TRILOGY about 12^th century love and stone masonry (with the best ending ever)

Anne Tyler’s ACCIDENTIAL TOURIST documenting the steps behind a man making a significant change in his life (with an inspiring ending tableau)

Frances De Pontes Peebles THE SEAMSTRESS about two sisters who take very different paths from poverty in Brazil.

Paulo Coelho THE ALCHEMIST about a young man’s search.

Nancy Horan’s LOVING FRANK about the first mistress of Frank Lloyd Wright.

And many other thoughtful, intelligent authors – not only female – who write books about everyday people, trying to make their way home, wherever home is in their heart. Some have labeled this type of fiction as WOMEN’S FICTION – but naming the GENRE CATEGORY is a whole ‘nother post.

 Thanks for checking in. xo Laura  email: lauramatsonhahn@gmail.com

Editing: Chapter 2 Gets More Complicated.

Sorry for the delay — I’ve been a little distracted – I promise once a week post, minimum. 

So back to it: OK – Gerry, my new editor, was fabulous on Chapter One, which I featured in the previous post.  So I have to report what happened with Chapter Two.

ASSUMPTION: There will be a learning curve between editor and editee – right?

When Gerry sent me edits on Chapter Two, he rightly assumed my blood pressure might zoom. There were ALOT more edits. I should not have been surprised. I went over Chapter One 9 times before I sent it but reviewed Chapter Two only a few times. 

OUTCOME: Gerry’s edits for Chapter Two were good – even though I did not agree with all of them. While he caught some solid technical stuff (in that arena, he rules); there were several, very important disagreements with his proposed edits (remember the word proposed).

Our bumps in the road centered on the way I write

1. The musicality I work into my phrasing.
2. The cadence and pattern of a characters speech  
3. The way I phrased some action scenes

Number One:  Gerry changed a word or two which messed up the rhythm, (IMHO). But when I looked again, I found his word choices were better, more accurate, and the flow still worked. I just had to see it to believe it and for Gerry, he saw it wasn’t necessary to be a journalist stickler in all cases. 

Number Two: This got a little complicated between Gerry and myself and then I invited my sister-in-law to look at the edits and she added a different opinion altogether.

• My main character is a wise, older woman born in Bohemia (now Czechoslovakia) who immigrated and never lost her patterns of speaking, as many don’t. Phrasing is important to reflect one’s culture. Sometimes it’s as simple as where the adjective get placed in a mother tongue’s sentence. While people make adjustments when they learn a new language, they often hold onto the grammar patterns from their original tongue.  So Gamma puts words in an order that do not follow American English patterns and she drops a THE or an S on a plural – but her message gets across just fine. 
• My concern was that I occasionally made her speech too smooth so I asked Gerry to keep an eye out for that and rough it up. 
• Well, Gerry did so but a bit too much — changing Gamma’s cadence so she sounded like an indian from the wild west movies.  Way too stilted and choppy.  Gamma’s not unschooled but has her own style.
• Then my Sister in Law looked at it and thought Gamma should be much more smooth, even added a few lines explaining how she improved over the 10 years by studying with Celeste.  Her proposed sentences made Gamma sound perfectly normal and that’s when it all came together for me. 
• Between the two suggestions, I became very clear on how Gamma sounds. She is not an indian and she is not american. So the bump in the road was very clarifying and I don’t doubt my choice any more.

Number Three: Gerry also questioned how I phrased some action sentences.  

• IE: “Martin’s head lowered and tilted to the left.”  Gerry gave me a note that it was somewhat disconcerting how I wrote it as the body moving itself instead of the character doing the moving. 
• I responded by saying that in some instances, a character is unaware of their own body movement, but it is observable to the viewer/reader as a “camera obscura,” . It is a subconscious movement and I write it as such to signal the reader’s attention. After reading my explanation, he totally agreed.
• To be fair: until Gerry ID’d it – I hadn’t consciously declared I was writing in “camera obscura”.  I saw it that way in my head but never had to explain it until his edit suggestion.  So this process is illuminating a lot more than just the text.

So here’s how my days are rolling now:

I prepare chapters for Gerry Edits by reviewing them several times before sending

When Gerry sends me an edited chapter, I review his suggestions, adjust and accept and check the format again.

Then I send it back to Gerry for final review

The final step will be to send a completed chapter to the Book Designer.  Haven’t gotten there yet.  But she is expecting the chapters one by one so that’s a good thing. Much easier than trying to prepare the whole manuscript for one big send.  

In between — I am in conversation with the book jacket designer and the book interior designer to keep tabs on their progress.

That’s it for today – I have to get back to work — paid work, unpaid work, house work, relationship work — you get the idea!

Thanks for checking in! 

• What is your editing process?
•  – tips?
•  – suggestions?
• – discoveries?

 xo Laura